Dear Charlie:

Last week, my period was late and to my dismay the home pregnancy test that I took was positive. However, the next morning, i miraculously started my period. And I know it's a REAL period, not just the spotting that some early pregnancies have. It was heavy and lasted for my normal 6 days. So that was a huge relief. However, the night I thought I was pregnant was really traumatizing. My boyfriend and I talked it over and decided we would abort it and he was really great and supportive. Even though I turned out not to be pregnant, a week later, I still feel really scared and anxious most of the time. I feel jittery to the point where I feel like I can't control it. All day today I've had this nerve racking feeling of constant "butterflies in my stomach." I also can't eat as much as I normally do. Usually this anxiety goes away or lessens when I'm with my boyfriend. Do you think this anxiety has anything to do with the pregnancy scare? What should I do?

Signed: Butterflies are annoying

Dear Butterflies:

Because part of your question is better addressed by a physician, Charlie consulted with one of my friends at the Health Center, Kent Bullis, M.D. This is what Dr. Bullis had to say:

Home pregnancy tests are generally easy to perform and more or less foolproof, and they are nearly always accurate. It is therefore likely that you have been pregnant. The question at this point is what has happened to the pregnancy. Some studies have shown that up to 40% of pregnancies end in a very early miscarriage. Often these miscarriages occur so early that women don't ever realize that they were pregnant at all, and often the only symptom is a period which is a little late and perhaps heavier than usual. It is likely that, had you not done a pregnancy test, you wouldn't have thought too much about your late period. There is a good chance that you have experienced a very early miscarriage which will not result in any problems for you.

There is another possibility you need to be aware of. It is possible for a woman to bleed and still be pregnant. That bleeding may be light, or it may be heavy, or it may be identical to a normal period in both timing and in nature. For that reason, you cannot be certain you are not pregnant without repeating a pregnancy test and finding it to be negative, or by experiencing the return of a normal regular cycle. After a miscarriage occurs, depending on how far along the pregnancy is, a urine pregnancy test may take a few weeks or months to return to negative, and a persistently positive pregnancy test can indicate either a normal healthy pregnancy or other abnormal medical conditions. Human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, is the hormone produced during pregnancy which causes the pregnancy test to be positive. It is possible for a physician to order a test to measure the amount in the bloodstream and, along with details about the timing of the home pregnancy test and the bleeding, determine whether the amount is from a miscarriage or some other condition.

I would strongly encourage you to, at the very least, repeat a home pregnancy test. If it is negative, you are most likely to return to a normal cycle. If it is positive, you need to seek medical attention. You mention a desire to avoid pregnancy, yet you do not mention using any form of birth control. I think that it can be very beneficial to have a certain amount of anxiety from a "near miss" like this, and I think that should prompt you to reconsider your strategies for avoiding pregnancy, and perhaps consider seeing a doctor to talk about methods of contraception.

You also mention that you've been experiencing anxiety. Charlie agrees with Dr. Bullis that a degree of anxiety can be helpful if it is motivating to engage in positive behaviors (e.g., birth control). However, you're expressing more than a little bit of anxiety when you say "I… feel really scared and anxious most of the time" and "I can't control it". You ask, "Do you think this anxiety has anything to do with the pregnancy scare?" It seems obvious that the "near miss" made you feel anxious. Charlie is guessing, however, that the degree of anxiety you're feeling is a function of some of the potential emotional implications of being pregnant. Charlie can only guess at what some of these may be: You say that you and your boyfriend decided to abort the pregnancy but perhaps you're not truly comfortable with this option. If not, the fact that you had agreed to go down that road could be traumatizing. Another consideration is the implication of pregnancy for the relationship with your boyfriend and/or your parents. For example, it might bring up multiple feelings such as, "I wonder what my parents or others might think?" or "I may one day want to marry my boyfriend—but I don't yet feel ready to decide if I want this relationship to be a life-long commitment" or alternatively "I'm afraid because of what happened that my boyfriend may leave me". Charlie suggests that you consider whether these or related concerns might be at the heart of how you're feeling. The first step might be to talk this over with your boyfriend and/or a trusted friend or family member. If this doesn't bring you relief, then consider talking to one of my friends at the Counseling Center (285-1736). Counseling is a free and confidential service for BSU students. My friends there are good listeners and skilled at helping people discover and then work through what may be underlying feelings of anxiety.

Helping to make the butterflies carefree,

Charlie